


The bite of the music, it tastes so sweet

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Blood Drinking, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, False Memories, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Simon Lewis, Panic Attacks, Parabatai Bond, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Jace Wayland, Self-Esteem Issues, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Vampire Turning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2019-10-29 01:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17798201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: He was covered in a thick layer of blood that the rain hadn’t managed to wash away, soaked into the fabric of his light blue shirt, down his chin from his lips, his hair was sticky with it.Eyes glazed and hands shaking, Simon swallowed thickly and breathed through the lump in his throat. “It’s not- not my blood.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was probably better when I first came up with the idea but I think it's pretty good for what it's worth. Yes, I know that technically Simon can't say god or pray but in the books, he learns how to say it without choking or hurting himself. I hope you liked it because I really enjoy writing about all these boys x

They found him in a collapsed heap on the floor, hair and clothes drenched from the heavy rainfall and his back against the brick wall. Despite not being close to him, Alec and Jace both rushed to Simon’s side and grabbed his hands, but the vampires dead weight was too much for them to lift, so they let him lean against the wall. He was covered in a thick layer of blood that the rain hadn’t managed to wash away, soaked into the fabric of his light blue shirt, down his chin from his lips, his hair was sticky with it. “Simon, what happened?” Jace asked, plucking the wet fabric away from Simon’s skin as it clung to him.

Eyes glazed and hands shaking, Simon swallowed thickly and breathed through the lump in his throat. “It’s not- not my blood.” He gasped, eyes glued to the ground. “She bit me- the woman from the club and- and she knew what I was so she uh, she used a broken bottle to cut her arm and shove it at me and I-I- I haven’t eaten in days and she- oh my god…”

Jace knew what Alec’s panic looked like- hell, he knew what it felt like and he knew that Alec knew about Jace’s too- the tight coil of fear in his chest, the heaviness in his lungs, the sweat-flush of his fevered skin, the glaze of his wide eyes, the throbbing in his head. But watching Simon clutch at himself with something more than fear and panic had Jace worried- how did a vampire have a panic attack? They didn’t breathe. Their hearts didn’t beat. But Jace also knew that there were some parts of being a mundane that Simon had carried with him forever, and knew that at that very moment, Simon Lewis was having a panic attack.

Turning to Alec, Jace shared a worried glance with his _parabatai_. “Is there somewhere we can take him? Somewhere safe. Somewhere nobody can find us.”

Nodding, Alec hooked one hand under Simon’s arm and Jace copied the motion on the other side. “Magnus’s loft. He’s away on a business trip for a few more days and I have the key.” Together, they hefted Simon up and supported his weight as he stood on shaky legs.

Slowly, they walked him through town and up the stairs to Magnus’s loft, where Simon collapsed on the floor in a gasping heap the second Alec unlocked the door and they stumbled through the threshold. Holding his head in his hands, Simon pulled roughly at his hair.

As Alec shut and locked the door behind him, Jace crouched down beside Simon and placed a hand on his back. Leaning closer, Jace could hear him muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like a lengthy apology and a prayer. “Simon, hey, bud. Calm down.”

Soon, Alec joined them on the floor with cups of tea and winced once he remembered that Simon couldn’t drink tea. He placed them down on the floor anyway and when Jace mouthed “ _blood_ ” at him over Simon’s back, Alec shook his head regretfully and put his hands on Simon’s cold, wet face. “We can’t help if you don’t tell us what happened.” He soothed gently and Jace noticed from where he had his hand on Simon’s back that his form stopped quaking like a leaf in an autumn wind. “How about we move to the living room instead of the floor?”

Almost as if he were working on autopilot, Simon stood stiffly and stumbled over to a chair. “I-I don’t even know how it happened. I was just sitting at the bar and then this girl- I didn’t even know her name, I’ve never seen her before- she tells me she knows I’m a vampire and she wanted me to turn her.” He gasped and wrapped his trembling hands loosely around his throat. “When I said no she-she bit me hard and she drew blood and then she grabbed a broken bottle off of the ground and used it to cut her arm.” His eyes were glued to the floor and Jace and Alec shared a worried glance. “I don’t think I’ve eaten in so long and before I knew it- she was on the floor and there was blood all over me and-”

“There’s just one loophole in this story.” Jace held up a hand to gather the rooms attention. “You ate this morning, just before you left for that meeting with Raphael. There’s no way you can’t have been so hungry that you felt like you were starving yourself for days.”

“But…” Simon’s eyes were wide and frightful as they darted around the room as if an appropriate answer could be found within the nooks and crannies of Magnus’s loft. “That’s impossible. I don’t remember feeding this morning and I have never felt that hungry in my life.”

“Maybe the bar you were at had security cameras that caught what happened?” Alec suggested gently and Jace wanted to thank him for trying to calm the situation despite everything that was going on. “We could be able to see what happened.”

Simon looked like he was about to tremble right out of his skin. “It can’t be happening again, it just can’t…”

Jace and Alec exchanged nervous glances as Simon began scratching at his skin and tugging at his hair, shaking so badly that Jace wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a blanket and hold him until it stopped. “Simon, man, you need to calm down. We can’t help you if tell us what happened.”

“It’s not like you care anyway,” Simon said sharply and both Nephilim were taken aback by the hardness to his voice. “Neither of you likes me at the best of times so if you don’t mind, I can take care of this myself-” As Simon made to stand up and make his way out the door, Jace put his hand on his shoulder and shoved him back down. “Jace, stop, _please_ , I need to go find her and make sure she’s alright.”

Alec sat on the couch beside the chair Simon was seated at and placed a hand on Simon’s knee. “And we’re going to do that,” he insisted gently, trying to keep anything other than kindness and care out of his voice. Simon didn’t need anything else to focus and worry on. “Why do you think we hate you and why would you think that impact our decision to help you or not?”

Simon’s fangs flashed out of his upper lip and despite how intimidating the action would have been, Simon covering them with his hand immediately proved it was only an accident. “You _don’t_ care- I need to go and…”

“Simon, calm down,” Jace said, keeping a firm hand securely on Simon’s shoulder. “No matter what you think of us, we’re going to help you. Is there anything you remember? Anything that was a bit off that you can think of?”

There was a moment of stifling pause as Simon looked around the room. “It shimmered,” he whispered, mostly to himself. “I thought it was just my eyes or if I had ordered something other then what I thought but it shimmered blue. Oh god…”

“Where did you go?” Alec asked. “What did you order?”

“It was just a glass of blood from the place I was telling Clary about- they mix the right amount of blood in their coffees,” Simon was rambling and confused and nobody had the heart to stop him. “I can’t remember what it’s called.”

Jace crouched down so that he was eye-level with Simon and no matter how badly Simon tried to avoid his gaze, Jace waited and let him chose in his own time when he wanted to talk. “We’re going to figure this out Simon but right now you need to _calm down_. We’re not going to get anywhere fast if you start hyperventilating.”

“And here I am thinking I couldn’t get panic attacks anymore,” Simon joked as he tipped his head back over the back of the seat and closed his eyes. “I almost forgot how much they sucked.”

Desperately, Alec and Jace exchanged another worried look as they tried to get the situation back on track but remembered not to skim over the new information. “If this has happened before then you’ll know how to take care of it, right?” Jace asked, concerned. He hadn’t really had to deal with one himself before and he glanced at Alec for help.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Simon said with a voice that shook with many things- fear, disgust, heartache, panic- and waved his hand towards the other room. “Just… give me a minute. It’ll be easier if I’m by myself for a little bit. Go talk to each other alone for a few, I’m sure you have a lot of things you want to say behind my back anyway.”

Reluctantly, the Shadowhunters stood and made their way into the kitchen where Jace leant against the counter with his arms crossed and Alec stayed near the door so he could keep an eye on Simon. “This is crazy man,” Jace said, voice hushed. “What are we going to do? There could be a mundane running through the streets, covered in blood and raving about vampires.”

“Or,” Alec said bluntly. “She could be dead and the authorizes will find her in a back ally somewhere with bite-marks in her neck, drained of blood. And if they bury her, she’ll rise as a vampire and if there isn’t anyone there to feed her, she’ll go on a hunger-filled rampage.”

Jace shot him an annoyed look. “Yeah, thanks Mr Optimist.” He ran a hand down his face. “If anyone finds out about this, he’ll be forced to go before the Clave and be sentenced for the crime. We can’t let that happen.”

“Clary and Isabelle are on patrol together tonight. I can call them and let them know to be on a lookout for a vampire-obsessed girl.” Alec suggested and when Jace nodded he turned away to put the call through.

As Alex spoke on the phone to his sister, Jace thought about Simon, sitting alone in a high-backed chair in Magnus’s extravagant lounge, his head balanced on one hand as he tried to breathe through the magnitude of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Sure, maybe Jace had given him a hard time in the past and they had treated him unfairly in some ways but surely Simon agreed that those things were in the rear-view mirror? The sudden realization that Simon didn’t trust their kindness was like a slap in the face for Jace and it left him wondering how many other things he didn’t know about the vampire. His penitent for panic attacks was apparently one of them.

He looked so sad and alone and scared in that chair as he hunched into himself to make himself look smaller, to make the chair swallow him whole. His anxious feet were tapping rapidly on the rug and he blew out a slow, calculated breath through his nose in an effort to keep his body tittering on the edge of panic and tranquillity. Raphael would know what to do- would know how to help him in such a time, but would Raphael even be willing to help? His relationship with Simon was an odd one and something nobody could even begin to understand, including Simon himself.

Alec hung up the phone and shoved it back into his pocket as he turned back to Jace. “Izzy said they’ll go and find her as quickly as she can but she thinks we should stay here and look after Simon. I can send out another dispatch if that’s an option you’re willing to entertain.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Jace glanced back at Simon, whose eyes were beginning to close from the exhaustion and the stress. “Who knows what he’ll do if nobody is around to watch him.”

“I think I can find a shirt that would fit him,” Alec said thoughtfully as he eyed Simon. “I don’t think him sleeping in a shirt covered in all that blood would be good for him, especially if he wakes up and doesn’t remember much of what happened tonight.”

“It’s settled then,” Jace pushed off from the wall and made his way back to Simon and was not at all surprised when he was met with a snoring vampire, Simon’s face pillowed on his hand and his knees pulled almost protectively up against his chest. “I’d say leave him be but I feel like he’d sleep through anything at the moment. Help me get his shirt off.”

Together they managed to strip Simon of his shirt and wipe off the worst of the bloodstains on his black jeans before Alec slipped the baggier shirt over his head and Jace found a heavy, woollen blanket and draped it over Simon’s sleeping form. They both knew that he didn’t really need the extra added warmth but they were both acutely aware of how much he enjoyed the simple pleasures of being a mundane so they were willing to indulge him.

Jace clicked his fingers to get Alec’s attention and pointed towards the bedroom door. “You take the bed,” he whispered in a last-ditch effort not to wake Simon. “I’ll crash on the couch, keep an eye on him.”  Alec stopped from where he was picking up the now cold and discarded mugs of tea off from the floor and nodded in agreement before whispering his own goodnight which Jace returned and he closed the bedroom door behind him. Jace was left alone with a shaking Simon and sadly the Shadowhunter watched as the vampire whimpered and subconsciously hid his face into the cushions. “What are we going to do with you, buddy?”

Throughout the night, Jace listened to his friend whimper apologies to people unknown and beg for a mother who would never come and pray with choking words that everything would be alright but Jace, with a heavy heart, knew that it wouldn’t be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, this is MUCH longer than I wanted it to be, and I wasn't really going to write another chapter to this fic because I thought it was pretty good as it was, but @CreamRose169 asked for it, so here it is. I had to write this twice because I began writing it on my phone (as I often do) and it disappeared somehow. It didn't go into another folder or the deleted section, I checked. But that's ok. It's done now. I hope you enjoy this (maybe unnecessary) chapter.

The next morning, Jace was woken by the sound of pots and pans being smashed around in the kitchen and the sound of snoring, and when Jace finally managed to squint his eyes open, he almost immediately had to close them again as the sunlight streamed in through the open curtains. When he stood and stretched his arms about his head with a yawn, he caught sight of Simon asleep and huddled in blankets in the chair as he passed him on his way to the kitchen.

Alec was already there, trying to put together some sort of semblance of breakfast, plastic bags filled with groceries piled around his feet on the floor. “Oh good, you’re up,” Alec greeted as Jace entered. “How’s Simon?”

“No change as far as I could see,” Jace said, picking up one of the bags and looking inside. “He’s still asleep. What’s all this? When did you get the time to rush down to the store?”

The pan sizzled and Alex recoiled from the bacon and eggs as it began to spit burning oil at him. “I called Magnus and let him know about the situation. He said we could stay as long as we needed. He sent some blood bags for Simon, which needs to go in the fridge, by the way, so stop ogling at me and help put it away.”

Frowning in slight confusion, Jace picked up one of the bags and began putting things away in their proper place. “When did Magnus take time out of his very busy schedule to do the shopping for you? I thought he was on a business trip?”

Sighing, Alec tried with all his might to keep the eggs from scrambling and the bacon from burning. “He’s a warlock, Jace. He could just wave his hand and make anything happen. He hasn’t done anything physically like this in years.”

Jace pulled out one of the blood-bags out and held it in his hand, the crimson liquid sloshing lazily in the plastic, the overhead lights making it shine. When Jace squeezed it slightly, bubbles rose to the surface, and when he shook it, it began to foam. “Don’t take my word for it, but I’m pretty sure that Simon prefers getting his daily dose of blood from sports bottles instead of bags.”

“I actually don’t care what Simon prefers, because if he knows what’s good for him, he’s going to shut up and accept what he’s given,” Alec kept his eyes focused on the pan and the bacon wiggling around in it like some sort of possessed worm. He may not be that great of a cook, but he was better than Isabelle, and that’s all that mattered. “Check the fridge. See if there’s anything to drink.”

Carrying the shopping bag filled with slowly congealing blood, Jace opened the fridge door and put the blood-bags where the normal drinks would be, and shut the door. “Is it too early for a real drink?” He asked making his way towards the cabinet at the end of the hall, opening the wooden doors without pause and was met by ornate glass bottles filled with dark liquid.

“You are not touching Magnus’s expensive liquor.”

“You’re no fun,” Jace closed the doors and walked back to the kitchen. Picking up one of the plastic bags, Jace pulled out a large carton of juice and set it on the table, plucking two glasses from the cabinet. “Well, I hope you’re happy with ice in your orange juice then, because none of this is cold.”

Frowning, Alec turned away from the stove with the pan in his hand and began plating up their breakfast. “There’s no coffee?”

Jace shrugged as he began to pour equal amounts of orange juice into each glass. “The coffee machine doesn’t work, and you’re all out of the instant stuff. You and Magnus are too used to living a luxurious lifestyle.” He slid Alec a glass just as Alec placed a plate filled with sloppy bacon and eggs in front of Jace. It wasn’t pretty, but it was food, so Jace wasn’t complaining. “Have you heard from Izzy?”

Alec took a sip of the orange juice and grimaced. Jace was right- maybe liquor was the better idea. “I called her again last night. She said she’d call me again today when she finds out more, but I’m not sure what else we’re going to figure out.”

Once he had finished chewing on the strangely tough bacon, Jace raised his fork like a conductor’s baton and started pointing. “Well, why don’t we go through what we know so far.” He rose one finger as he waved the fork in time with his counting. “Simon went out last night. He was having a good time. A girl came up to him, claiming that she knew he was a vamp. She insisted he turn her. He refused. She cut herself with something and he bit her. Next thing he knew, he was in an alley, covered in someone else’s blood, with no memory of what had happened.”

“Let’s not forget that his drink apparently shimmered even though he only ordered blood,” Alec pointed out. “And that even though he said he hadn’t eaten in days, we watched him feed just before he left the Institute. So whatever his drink ended up being, it made him hungry. Hungry enough not to be able to resist the smell and sight of blood, which we both knew he’s gotten pretty good at.”

“Sure,” Jace muttered around his glass. “Let’s make this more complicated. That’s just what we need. More variables.”

Before Alec could reply, there was a tentative, small voice from the lounge room. “Um… Clary?” Jace choked on his lukewarm orange juice in his haste to follow Alec into the room where Simon was sitting up with the blankets pooled around his lap, tugging at the slightly too-big shirt, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he was bombarded with instant sunlight. When he caught sight of them, he frowned, his brow furrowing. “Oh… not Clary. What are you… doing here? Wait,” He paused looking around the room. “Why am I in Magnus’s apartment?”

Jace shared a look with Alec before quickly changing the subject. “Why did you think Clary was here?”

“Because I’m not in the same clothes I fell asleep in,” Simon said like it was obvious, waving at himself and the shirt that hung off his thin frame. “I’ve only woken up a few times wearing different clothes than the ones I fell asleep in, and each time it’s been with Clary. You know, pulling all-nighters to study to midterms, getting black-out drunk form my mum's liquor, having sleep-overs and staying up too late so we could watch the horror movies that Clary hated. That sort of stuff,” He frowned. “Why are you two taking my clothes off?”

Alec returned from the kitchen, and Jace honestly hadn’t realized that he had gone in the first place and threw a chilled bag of blood at Simon, who caught it effortlessly. “Don’t worry, we had no intention of doing anything than getting you out of the bloody clothes. Magnus would kill me if I got blood on his favourite couch.”

As he looked at the bag in his hand, Simon’s eyes glowed with red hunger, and his fangs shot through his gums involuntarily. “You didn’t even have the decency to put it in a glass?” He joked before the lull became too much and his fangs pierced the bag and he began to drink, the clear bag slowly emptying. Jace and Alec turned away to give him some privacy.

When Simon pulled away and ran a hand across his face, Jace and Alec turned back and caught Simon staring at the empty and deflated bag with something unreadable in his eyes. “I did something terrible, didn’t I?”

“You don’t remember any of last night?” Alec asked, surprised. Had Simon acted any differently, Alec would have expected some sort of memory loss from the stress, but Simon didn’t do that. He wasn’t that kind of person. But maybe, if there really was something slipped into his drink, it wasn’t too much of a stretch.

Simon closed his eyes. “I was hoping it was nothing but a crazy dream,” he opened his eyes and looked between Alec and Jace. “I didn’t… I didn’t kill her, did I?”

Gulping, Jace felt like it was better to be honest, like ripping off a band-aid. “We’re not sure yet. We’re waiting for a call from Isabelle to let us know the details.”

Sighing through his nose, Simon dropped his head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. “I was really, really hoping that I would wake up this morning and that you would tell me that nothing had happened and that we could continue on with our lives, but I guess that not going to happen now.” He sounded like someone had ripped his heart out. “You’ll probably have to report me to the Clave now, don’t you?”

“Maybe not,” Alec said. “If what you told us is true, then not only were you provoked by a mundane, but someone put something in your drink to make you act the way you did. If Isabelle manages to find evidence, then you could be off the hook.”

“But I didn’t see anyone do anything,” Simon pointed out. “I watched this girl walk up to me and cut herself and suddenly I was so hungry I couldn’t breathe. The drink was shimmering a little while before that.”

Jace felt like he was grasping at straws. “Well, that means that it was either a pre-meditated attack where she had an accomplice or there were two separate attacks on you in the same night. That’s not a coincidence. The Clave will have to take that into consideration.”

The look on Simon’s face felt like a fist through Jace’s chest. “You and I both know that doesn’t really matter. The Clave doesn’t like me. It’s been trying to get rid of me since I first became a vampire, and now they finally have the excuse they need.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Alec insisted. “You haven’t technically done anything wrong and until someone can prove that you acted solely on your own and were not influenced by anyone, then you shouldn’t be afraid of an investigation by the Clave.”

“Of course I’m worried!” Simon retorted, thrusting his arms out. His fangs flashed and Jace reached for his weapon at his hip as Alec took a step back, and immediately felt guilty for it. This was _Simon_ , not some wayward vampire on a hunger-fuelled murder spree. “Somewhere out there is a bleeding girl who spent the night alone in the dark in some alleyway and nobody will tell me if she’s even alive and to top it all off, I’m going to be treated like a common criminal by the people I’ve done everything in my power to protect. So yes, Alec, I think I have every right to be afraid of what might happen!” Collapsing against the chair as if all the fight had left him, Simon dropped his head into his hands, treading his fingers into his hair and tugging, muttering wordless apologies under his breath.

The room was almost silent. Jace wanted to say something, but Alec’s phone started buzzing, and he pulled Jace away and back into the kitchen and put the caller on speaker. The semblance of privacy didn’t really matter- Simon could hear every word they said with his enhanced hearing no matter how quiet they tried to be. “What’s the word, Izzy?”

“Alright, so,” Isabelle began, her voice slightly static-y and out of breath like she’d been on the move for a while. “I talked to Bat who was on the bar, the werewolf? Mia’s friend from Luke’s pack? Well, he said that he saw Simon at the bar and that he noticed the woman watching him, but when he turned away to serve another customer, Simon and the woman were gone.” She took a deep breath. “But he said I could have the security cameras from when Simon was in. I’m going to have a look at them when I get back to the Institute.”

Alec and Jace shared a wordless and meaningful look. “Thanks, Izzy. Anything else?”

“Yeah, actually.” Izzy continued, “Bat knew that something fishy was going on, so he kept Simon’s glass in one of the cupboards. He had only ordered blood, but the inside of the glass was glowing a weird kind of blue. I recognised it right away- it’s an expensive compound that grows only in the gardens of the fair-folk. It’s a weapon they’ve used against vampires since the dawn of time, and according to what I’ve been told by Raphael, it induces insatiable hunger, even if a vamp has just fed.”

“Which explains why Simon felt like he hadn’t fed in days even though we watched him before he’d left that morning,” Jace continued for her, nodding in recognition. Now everything was starting to make more sense, the missing puzzle pieces beginning to fall into place. “Thanks, Iz. Let us know if you hear anything else.”

The sound of a heavy, old door creaking open and slamming shut was heard on the other end of the line and Izzy grunted before her heals could be heard as they clicked across the polished floor. “No worries, whatever I can do to help. Clary is still there talking to Luke and she said that he and Catarina were going to try and hold a meeting with Raphael before they made any further moves. I’m going to meet up with them again once I check out the tapes.”

“Great,” Alec said, taking the phone off speaker and placing it up to his ear, turning away and waving Jace out of the room over his shoulder. “Now, about that girl, do you know what happened? Is Raphael going to deal with…?”

The rest was drowned out as Jace exited the kitchen, leaving Alec alone on the phone to his sister, and made his way towards Simon, who was curled up so incredibly small on in the chair, gazing heartbroken out the open window. Tentatively, Jace sat down on the opposite couch, and Simon didn’t even bother to turn his head from the window before he spoke. “Which one of you got me changed?”

Jace cleared his throat, a little surprised at the question. “I did. Alec thought it would be too weird if he did it, so he just searched around for something that would fit you.” He frowned and waved at Simon and the shirt hanging loosely off his frame. “He didn’t do a very good job in my opinion, but we had to get you out of that shirt. It was covered in blood. I uh… I hope you don’t mind.”

When Simon didn’t reply, Jace began to get a little nervous, but soon Simon turned his head and Jace choked back a startled gasp. His eyes were red and dried rivulets of blood was smeared across his cheeks. “Why are you trying to help me?” his words were emotionless. “Why do you care? Neither of you even like me.”

“Yeah, you see, you said that last night as well, but I’m not sure whether that was before or after your panic attack,” Jace retorted, “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true,” Simon said. “Alec can hardly stand the sight of me most days and on his good days sometimes he can find it in himself to be able to be in the same room as me. And you…” he tried off, shaking his head. “Well, ever since the beginning, I’ve been nothing but an annoying gnat that you’ve learned to get used to.”

Jace felt like he was falling through a deep, dark hole filled with every painful thing in the world, and his stomach was suddenly in his toes. “What- how could you ever think…?”

“You’re smart,” Simon sounded bitter and somehow managed to shrink further into the cushions. “Think about it. You only started calling me by my name a few months ago, and every time I try and get close, you act as though my very existence is a huge inconvenience to you.” He waved his hand. “I guess that’s the price I’ve had to pay to be the friend of the famous Shadowhunter Jace Wayland as a crappy-mundane turned bullshit-vampire.”

“What- listen, man, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Was Jace really hearing this properly? If Simon was only saying this now, he wondered, how long had he felt it? “I don’t have a problem with you. At least, I haven’t had one in a very long time.”

Simon looked like he’d just been sucking on a lemon. “Well, you have a very strange way of showing that.”

There was a tense silence between them for a moment. When it was obvious that Simon wasn’t going to continue the conversation on his own, Jace blew out a slow, calculating breath from his lips and leant closer to Simon, who thankfully didn’t pull away. “Listen, I know that maybe you and I haven’t had the best relationship, and I guess I wasn’t fully aware of how that felt to you, and I genuinely am sorry. I’m not sure if that’s what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. But now we’re better, right? You and I, we’re friends now, just like you and Clary. And maybe you can be insufferable and say stupid things and have random knowledge of useless information of movie lore, but I’ve forgotten what it was like to not have those things, and now I’m not sure that I’d be able to go into battle or go through my day without them. You’ve become such a big part of my life, of all our lives, that none of us has thought of you as that mundane we couldn’t get rid of for a very, very long time.”

Neither of them said anything afterwards for a few long seconds before Simon took a breath and asked, “And Alec? We both know that he can hardly bear to be in the same room as me.”

“Well, he did suggest that we bring you here to take care of you and asked Magnus to send over as many bags of blood as he could muster, so I don’t think he hates you all that much,” Jace pointed out and Simon looked away towards the kitchen, where Alec’s muffled and serious voice could be heard from the doorway. “Don’t worry about Alec. He’s like that with everyone, but he hasn’t threatened to murder you lately, so if I were you, I’d take that as a bonus,” as an afterthought, he added. “He’s very protective of his sister. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but Alec has defiantly seen the say she looks at you, and she’s had her heart broken by Downworlders before.”

All the colour seemed to drain from Simon’s face- the very little amount of it, anyway. He was still a very dead vampire, and therefore very pale. “Me and Isabelle… what are you… I don’t…”

“As I said, you probably haven’t noticed.” Jace leant forward with his elbows on his knees and brought his hands together to form a single fist by his face and placed them against his mouth. “We were raised- _Alec_ , was raised- with the knowledge that mundanes were beneath us in every way, and that Downworlders were scum that needed to be wiped when their time came. And Alec has been grappling with that information all his life. Now he’s dating a warlock- the High Warlock of Brooklyn, no less. His sister has had many Downworld lovers. So has his brother, on occasion. Both you and Clary were mundanes to him for a very long time, and now Clary is like us, and you’re a vampire. Two sides of the same coin. He is… he’s trying. Doing better every day.”

“So,” Simon began. “He doesn’t hate me specifically. He just hates me in general.”

“Well, hate is a very strong word,” Jace acknowledged, “But he’s starting to like you more and more every day. He’s trying his best and really, that’s all we can ask for. His parents put a lot of weight on his shoulders, and now when he does anything that remotely goes against the things they taught him as a child, he feels guilty for it. So dating Magnus… if you had known him growing up, you’d have known that the words _‘dating a warlock’_ would never have even been in his vocabulary. Neither was _‘dating a man’_ or _‘dating’_ in general, but he’s tried his best to overcome the thoughts ingrained into him as a child.” Jace shrugged. “He doesn’t let a lot of fun and laughter into his life- he’s very grumpy. The fact that he’s letting you even near Isabelle in the first place is a very good sign.”

Simon frowned. His brow furrowed and morphed into something vaguely confused. “He really dislikes Downworlders that much that he wouldn’t let me go near Isabelle? Why?”

Holding up a hand, Jace shook his head. “I don’t think you’re listening. It's Isabelle. The joy of his life, the light in his dark. He hates seeing her hurt, and it just so happens that the only people who have broken her heart so completely have been Downworlders. Fae, werewolves, warlocks, vampires, pixies, merfolk- and each of them have hurt her in some way. And even though Alec knew you, he wasn’t going to willingly let that happen again. So the fact that he knows Isabelle is into you and that he’s letting you anywhere near her- it’s a very good sign. He might now show it, but he doesn’t hate you as much as you think.”

“Isabelle isn’t into me…” Simon looked like he’d just been slapped in the face. “Is she?”

_By the Angel,_ Jace thought, _he really is dumber than he looks._ Instead of answering, Jace changed the subject completely. “Last night, you mentioned something about having a panic attack. I haven’t exactly ever had one myself, but I’ve seen it happen to others. I never knew you used to have them.”

Simon wrung his hands in his lap as he thought. “Yeah, well, the only people who knew before was Clary and my sister but by the time I felt like it was necessary to tell the rest of you, I became a vampire, so it wasn’t really a problem anymore. At least, I _thought_ it wasn’t.”

“Your mum didn’t know?” Jace asked, surprised. “How could your mum not know?”

“It was just something I wanted to keep between me and Becky,” Simon said, eyes on the ground. It sounded like he wasn’t telling Jace the whole story, but he let it slide. For now. “But then Clary found out one day and it became our secret. I didn’t think I could get one as a vampire- you know, no beating heart and the lack of breathing.”

“Did you have them… often, as a mundane?”

Shrugging, Simon sat back against the chair and ran his fingers through his hair. “More so as a kid. I was afraid of everything; you know? Often I was an anxious wreck. Missing school, getting sick, breaking or losing my glasses, getting picked on, failing a really important exam. Sometimes, I would get them just thinking about going to school, even though it happened when I skipped a day. Sometimes, I would wake up with them, and Becky would have to talk me through them in the middle of the night. It wasn’t pretty.”

“Right,” Jace tried, but he wasn’t really sure how to help. If it wasn’t a problem anymore, then why did Jace feel like he needed to help Simon through something that wasn’t an issue? “Uh, well… if it happens again, let me know. So I can… help.”

Simon looked like he wanted to laugh, but he didn’t, which was good. If he did, Jace probably would have broken his nose. “Thanks,” was all he said, but Jace wasn’t sure if he was being honest or just trying to shut him up.

Before he could say anything else, Alec walked into the room, his face tired and gaunt. “Well, good news and bad news,” he said as he slipped the phone back into his pocket. “Good news- they found the girl, and by ‘they’ I mean about 40 Nephilim and most of the New York vampire clan, led by Raphael. The bad news is that she had already turned, and she was mostly sane, so someone must have helped her through the ritual. The main suspect at this point is the fae that was at the bar with her and Izzy agrees that the whole thing was planned. They knew where you would be, they knew what to do to get you to bite her, and Raphael suspects that she chose you specifically because she thought she would inherit the ability to walk in the sunlight.”

Jace shook his head. Simon didn’t say anything, so Jace spoke for him. “What an idiot. So you’re saying this whole thing was... prepared? They were working together to influence Simon into biting her?”

“Izzy said she’s going back to the bar to see if she could work out with Bat who walked in at which time,” Alec continued, sitting on the couch beside Jace. “But from what she thinks she knows so far; this whole thing was a big ploy to turn a stupid mundane into a vamp. Regardless, whoever the fae is, the Clave is going to charge him with something heavy,” He glanced at Simon. “Uh, the Clave wants you to stay here for a couple of days. Magnus said it was fine.”

“Why?” Simon’s voice was slowly growing more and more bitter with every word spoken. “So they can charge me and lock me up and get rid of me?”

“No,” Alec said firmly, and both Jace and Simon looked over at him in surprise. “That isn’t going to happen even if that is their plan because Jace and I won’t let that happen. To my knowledge, they want to do a check up on you to make sure whatever the compound the fae dumped into your drink is out of your system. Raphael volunteered to come along to make sure there was no dirty business.”

Simon slowly deflated against the couch. “Oh, right. OK. Whatever you need from me.” But it was obvious that he was just saying what they wanted to hear, too lost in his own mind and his own thoughts running rampant in his head. Jace nodded at Alec and together they stood.

Taking initiative, Alec reached over and placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder, who surprisingly didn’t react to it. “It’ll be fine, Simon. We’ll figure it out.”

Together, Jace and Alec walked back to the kitchen and left Simon alone in the lounge room. “This is crazy,” Jace said quietly running his hands through his hair. “We knew that Simon had a penchant for finding trouble, but this is actually so much worse than we could have predicted. What the hell is Clary going to say when she sees him? This is the second vampire he’s turned!” He looked at Alec, who was staring thoughtfully out the window, his hands crossed over his chest. “Alec? What are you thinking?”

“You remember what I said about Magnus’s expensive alcohol?”

“Uh… that you wouldn’t let me touch it otherwise I would have to endure Magnus’s fiery wrath? What’s your point?”

“I take it back. I need a god damn drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know Alec isn't usually one to be a big drinker, but I felt like it tied into the story a lot more than just leaving it how I was going to. I also had to find a way to properly conclude this and to make it short enough, and after a bit of trial and error, I figured that this was a perfect way.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it x


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